


M. I. - Mischief

by PandoraButler



Series: Agent 006 [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Black Butler - Freeform, Crossover, Kuroshitsuji - Freeform, M/M, SebaCiel - Freeform, Yoi - Freeform, Yuri on Ice - Freeform, agent!sebastian, agent!yuri, chiyuki x decim, death parade - Freeform, vintaker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22272928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: Yuuri Katsuki is a skilled MI-6 operative. He has done the job for years. He was even around for the whole 'Phantom Man' revival. There is just one problem...he has always secretly had a crush on a certain someone and has no idea how to go about telling him...
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Sebastian Michaelis & Ciel Phantomhive, Vincent Phantomhive & Undertaker
Series: Agent 006 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603180
Kudos: 12





	1. File: Agent Katsuki

Name: Yuuri Katsuki

Organization: MI-6

Section Number: [Classified]

Section Code Name: Ice Castle

Section Leader: Christophe Giacometti

Fellow Agents: Phichit Chulanont, Otabek Altin, Yuri Plisetsky, and Jean-Jacques Leroy

Skills: Disguises, intelligence gathering, and torture (sexual or otherwise).

Yuuri Katsuki stood in a dimly lit room. There was a male in this room with silver hair, a strange fashion sense, and nice beautiful eyes. But, that was beside the point. Yuuri had one job here: to get information out of him.

"You're the son of the MI-6 agent by the code name of 'The Undertaker' aren't you?" he asked. He made sure to ask the question precisely as he slammed his foot down in-between this male's legs. His foot rested on the chair that the stranger was currently tied to. You know, just an average Tuesday for Yuuri Katsuki. Kidnapping was kind of his specialty if you will. 

"Yes?" he answered, with uncertainty. That wasn't exactly very smart of him. He didn't seem like the mysterious specially trained son of The Undertaker. Did The Undertaker have more than one son? Yuuri pondered this for a brief moment. This male wouldn't be of any use to him, no, that's not true, he could always go for some ransom if things didn't go his way. 

"Good," Yuuri got out his knife and placed the edge of the blade against the male's cheek. "My name is Yuuri Katsuki," he licked his lips as he said this. It was a bit of a bad habit. He didn't use nearly enough chapstick. "Better hope your daddy comes home soon." 

The son of The Undertaker shed a tingle tear before replying, "I knew I should've gone on vacation with them..." 

"Vacation? He is on _vacation_?" Yuuri was truly surprised by this. The thought of the infamous MI-6 operative on vacation didn't seem possible. Wasn't he always on the clock? Working his mysterious magic to keep the world safe? Then again, everyone does need some time off at some point. Poor guy. Yuuri almost felt guilty for kidnapping his son, _almost_. 

"My brother just got married. My dad tagged along for the honeymoon so he could have an excuse to take time off and enjoy some quality time with his own spouse," he explained. Yuuri's eyebrows furrowed in his confusion. This guy was a real idiot for telling him something right off the bat. Did he not think at all before he spoke? Well, if he was so open about this that would make things easier. Maybe his plan would work after all. 

Yuuri threw his knife behind him and grabbed the son's chin. He brought their faces close together, eyes gleaming, as he finally revealed his ulterior motive. "That gives us plenty of time, doesn't it? To get the performance accurate." 

"P-performance?" 

"Yes, I need you to be my boyfriend."


	2. Mission Report: Fake Boyfriends 1

"Dads," Victor gestured to his right, "I would like to present to you my boyfriend, Yuuri."

Vincent eyed the man up and down, smile never leaving his face, and leaned back in his chair. He was amused, clearly, at the sight before him. He knew something that Victor didn't but wasn't about to tell him.

"Since when did you have a boyfriend?" The Undertaker frowned. He didn't approve. There was nothing wrong with Victor having a boyfriend, of course, but this was so sudden. They'd barely gotten back from their trip and here his boy was standing with a complete stranger. He didn't like it. Something was entirely wrong.

"We, uh," Victor glanced at Yuuri, the man smiling innocently with his arm wrapped around his waist, threatening to claw out his insides if he didn't make up a good story. "We met at Lau's casino while you guys were away."

Ciel spit out his drink. There was no way this relationship was going to last long if Lau was involved. Good for Victor, he was finally starting to go out of his shell. How nice. Relationships end. Heartbreak ensues. Ciel remained silent, totally interested in how this dumpster fire burned.

"You can't trust anyone associated with Lau," The Undertaker sighed.

"Now, now, this could be _entertaining_ , to say the least," Vincent sat up and folded his hands on the table. "Are you planning on staying with us?" he offered. Yuuri nodded. "Then, we shall welcome having you." With that, the conversation was over. Vincent stood up and walked right out. When Vincent leaves, everyone follows. That's the general rule of the household. No need to keep things going. The Undertaker sighed once more but left Yuuri alone. Maybe, if he was lucky, Vincent would explain things to him.

Victor grabbed Yuuri's hand and led him down the numerous hallways and things. He gave him a nice tour of the place, even though Yuuri had already memorized everything he needed to know about it, and then opened one last door: the door to his room. It was covered in ice skating memorabilia. Posters, a few trophies, but mostly everything was related to a single entity: Chiyuki. A famous skater with long purple-tinted hair and a single white streak in her bangs. Yuuri knew of her simply because one of his fellow agents was a big fan of skating too.

"I would offer to have you stay in one of the spare rooms but unfortunately that would make it a bit more obvious we aren't in a real relationship," Victor smiled. "It's a bit of a mess," he scratched the back of his neck, fringe falling over his one eye, "sorry about that."

"So, you like Chiyuki?" Yuuri made an easy deduction. He was interested in Victor for about two seconds before he ran, jumped, and plopped right on the bed, squealing into the pillow and rolling around, only to fall on the floor. "He is so much more attractive in person! I've tried for years to get into his division but I couldn't! Ah! That hair! Those eyes! That scar! He doesn't like me right now but I don't care! The Undertaker is so attractive! Why did he have to be married? Take me, please!"

Victor shuddered. The thought of Yuuri and his dad just made him uncomfortable. He did agree to this charade but only because he was genuinely scared of Yuuri at the time. He sighed. He could understand someone being a gigantic fan for a person, obviously, just look at him with Chiyuki, but the thought of someone being a fan of his dad? That made him cringe. Sure, his dad was great and all...but Vincent was usually the one people got obsessed with (hell, Victor isn't sure that he escaped that phase yet).

"What exactly is your goal?" Victor crossed his arms and sat at the edge of his bed. "He is married so it's not like you can seduce him."

"Oh?" Yuuri sat up, hugging the pillow, he snickered. "I pride myself in being able to seduce _anyone_. But, no, that's not what I'm after. I just want to know more about him for as long as I can until I'm found out. He is," Yuuri paused, not really wanting to say this last bit, "my hero."

"Right," Victor shook his head, "if you say so." Victor grabbed his skates and walked out. Yuuri could have a fantastic time all on his own dreaming of his dad. He cringed again. This was such a weird concept.

"Hm? Where are you going?" Yuuri jumped up and followed him. He didn't think the guy actually skated, just enjoyed skating. (Smart Yuuri is smart, who did he think the trophies belonged to?)

Yuuri followed Victor outside and eventually to another building in the depths of the corners on the Phantomhive estate. It was a skating rink. Specially designed to be available all year 'round, even in the heat of the summer when snow was a foreign dream.

Victor still hadn't noticed Yuuri's graceful presence. He just had a habit of blocking everything out when focused, under stress, or a mixture of the two. Plus, Yuuri was an agent, he was used to being sneaky. He peeked his head over the wall and stared at Victor as he made absentminded circles. Yuuri never understood ice skating. He'd always heard about how magical it was, but never once did he find something beautiful because it was danced on ice.

He skated to the very center of the rink, he clicked a button on a remote in his hand and then shoved the remote into his pocket. It would fall out. It always did. But that was fine. Yuuri recognized the song. It was one Chiyuki specially created for one of her skate routines. Something, something, history, was the title. Yuuri didn't remember.

When the lyrics started Victor's body moved in sync with Chiyuki's. The difficult choreography seemed so simple when Victor did it. How long had he practiced this? Yuuri couldn't help but get out his phone. He filmed the whole thing, unable to stop himself because for the first time he found something so incredibly breathtaking while danced on ice.

His limbs were extensions of his heart, moving with a passion just as strong, if not stronger, than Chiyuki herself. Yuuri's coworker friend was going to love this. A moment of impulse, and no actual thought, he sent the video to Phichit.


	3. Mission Report: Fake Boyfriends 1.2

"Victor, I didn't realize you were planning on going into professional ice skating, I thought it was just a hobby," The Undertaker sighed. How many things did he not know about Victor? A new boyfriend, a new career, his head was turning with all of the newfound information. He thought they were close as a father and son. He never expected him to enter a secretive phase. Not that The Undertaker was nosy, but, still, he expected more information than not.

"What? It _is_ just a hobby," Victor assured. "I never had any intentions of being a professional. I'm not that good," Victor waved his hands around frantically trying to explain himself. "Aside from the few competitions I was in, I really never intended to become a skater. I promise."

"Bullshit," The Undertaker got out his phone and showed Victor all of the newsfeeds, the video, and the intense discourse on who he was. "You really mean to tell me that you didn't circulate this video in hopes of becoming a professional? I mean, seriously? Why would you practice this so hard if it was 'just a hobby'?" 

"What?!" Victor stood up and snatched the phone. He scrolled through everything, completely bewildered at the fact he was on the internet. He'd just reached news level and had no idea why. He saw Yuuri sinking in his chair bit by bit. Had he followed him? Why was he just now noticing this?! Was this part of Yuuri's sick and twisted plan to get closer to this father?

"Did you post this video?" he fumed.

"I can assure you _I_ did not post that video," Yuuri sat up straight in his chair and folded his hands on the table, professional business liar. "I _did_ , however, record it and sent it to my friend who happens to be a skating nerd and _he_ posted it for some reason," Yuuri scratched the side of his cheek, avoiding eye contact. Big mistake. He regretted it. Phichit was a social media disaster, it was amazing he survived this long as an agent. Why did he make such a rookie mistake? Probably because he was so captivated by Victor's skating, in all honesty. 

"You recorded a video of me without permission and then sent it to someone?!" Victor placed his dad's phone on the table and stormed out. Yuuri, not wanting to make The Undertaker's impression of him worse, ran after Victor. He had to apologize, for the sake of their fake relationship. It wasn't that big of a deal, okay, maybe it was a bit of a big deal, but...

Vincent picked up the phone, smirking, "Things are going to get a lot more interesting," he showed The Undertaker the latest tweet from @Chiyuki's_Death_Parade. The skater herself was catching the first plane out and making her way to find Victor. Vincent would have to set the stage so she didn't get lost on her way. He chuckled. This family never ceased to amaze. With Sebastian and Ciel's relationship progressing nicely, he had a new duo to toy with. 

"Why are you smirking?" The Undertaker frowned. 

"Why aren't you?" Vincent laughed. "Shall we place our bets now?" 

"I swear, you are intolerable." 

"But, you love me all the same," Vincent continued grinning. 

"Victor!" Yuuri ran with his arm outstretched, trying his best to catch up. "Wait! I can explain!"

"Explain _what_?" Victor shot a glare. He opened the door to his room and slammed it in Yuuri's face. Anxiety building up with a complete dose of self-deprecation, Victor hugged himself on the floor directly in front of the door. He thanked the stars that it opened inward, because since he was sitting here Yuuri couldn't open it.

Yuuri entered the next room. He used his high-class agent abilities and crawled out the window, using the ledge to get to Victor's. He wasn't about to let the guy cry himself silly. He still needed to explain himself properly, for the sake of this fake relationship. They couldn't go through a fake breakup yet. He'd just gotten here!

He carefully opened the window and climbed in, closing it. Victor hadn't noticed him yet. He walked over to the guy and sat directly before him. "Look, Victor," he flinched upon hearing Yuuri's voice, startled that he'd made it in. "I know it's probably a big shock to you but this wasn't my fault. I recorded you, yeah, that was a bad thing to do. I also sent the video to someone without asking for permission or even realizing that it was the worst person in the world to send the video to. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Apology not accepted," Victor mumbled. His head resting on his legs and the pressure of the world caving in on him. They were all going to expect something of him now. He couldn't just be the guy skating in a rink his parents had given him. Now he had to be professional, enter competitions, win medals, something he could never do. Victor was an admirer. He was not a participant.

"So, you're a little internet famous," Yuuri shrugged. "Everyone has their moment now and then. It's not like you'll be famous forever. Besides, why would a world-famous skater like Chiyuki want anything to do with you? She probably will never watch the video."

"That makes me feel worse," Victor sighed. Yuuri was miserable at helping people with their emotions.

"Well, what do you want me to do? Kiss you?" Yuuri frowned. No matter what he said he wasn't going to say what Victor wanted to hear. The two barely knew each other.

Victor's sobbing got worse. "You don't even like me why are you trying so hard? This is all just to get closer to my dad, isn't it? You're doing an awful job of that. I didn't mind helping you but I didn't want to be hurt purposely because of this. You really have no idea what you did wrong, do you?"

Yuuri didn't like that phrasing. Something about it wasn't at all what he wanted. Sure, Victor was right but he just said it in the worst way. He wanted to say something but wasn't sure exactly what he wanted to say. Some fake relationship this was turning out to be. Yuuri sat down next to Victor and wrapped his arm around him. 

"You're going to get through this, I promise." 

"How do you know that?" 

"Because I'm going to be here to help you," Yuuri grinned. 


	4. Mission Report: Personal (Love?) Trainer 1

"Hello, hello, hello," Chiyuki walked into the home with her bags and manager trailing behind her. No one to greet her? That's rude. A blue-haired individual with a toothbrush in his mouth (wearing nothing but boxers with little bunnies on them) turned around the corner, took one look at Chiyuki, and slowly walked backward, completely mortified. 

"Hello?" a raven-headed male waved after some yelling took place. He was dressed rather plainly but there was nothing plain about that _face_. "My name is Sebastian. Would you like me to show you to your room? Or, what I assume to be your room...he wasn't specific..." 

"Are you a butler? You look so much like a butler," Chiyuki chuckled. She followed Sebastian to the room he was talking about. 

"I'm not a butler." 

"Are you sure about that? You should be." 

"I'm quite certain." 

"But you're so cute, polite, and would look great in a suit." 

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome."

"This is your room," he opened the door and allowed her to walk through. "I imagine you're here for Victor? He is just three doors that way," he pointed. 

"Thank you very much." 

"My pleasure," Sebastian grinned. 

Chiyuki plopped down on the bed and sighed. "Decim, this is such a nice place." The white-haired male said nothing, as usual, and just placed the luggage on the ground, starting to unpack it. "You really don't have to do that the same day we land." He didn't say anything. Chiyuki frowned, sighing a second time. 

"Do you think he will like me?" 

Decim paused and looked at the bed, but his face didn't reveal any emotions. "Don't look at me like I'm an idiot!" Chiyuki threw a pillow at him. How could she tell what he was thinking? No one would know. It was magic. 

He caught the pillow and placed it on the floor. Nothing was going to stop him from unpacking, except for maybe one thing. Chiyuki stood up and hugged Decim from behind, refusing to let him do work. She pulled with all of her might and the two fell over. She laughed, as Decim squirmed on top of her, but she wasn't going to let him go so easily. 

"Don't get so flustered, it's just a hug!" 

Decim ceased his squirming and sighed. She released him and he promptly sat back up, going back to work, because he was boring like that. She stood up and walked out, heading towards Victor's room. There was arguing going on inside so she just held her hand up, about to knock, but the door opened. Victor stood there, blinking, stared for a bit, then closed the door and tried again. The second time he opened the door he screamed, slammed it shut, locked it, and tried very hard to tear all of his Chiyuki merch down before opening it again. 

"Hi?" he squeaked. Yuuri appeared beside him, laughing after watching all of that. 

"Why don't you ask how she got here first? Or even why she is here? Before you slam the door in her face," he cackled, "and tear down all your-" Victor slapped a hand over Yuuri's mouth. His blush wasn't going away any time soon and he only had Yuuri to blame for that. 

"I'm here to train you on how to skate," she smiled. 

"What?" the fake boyfriends blurted out at the same time. 

She continued to grin. "Where is the rink? Let's go." 

"Uhm," Victor nodded, leading her to the personal rink. Yuuri followed. His phone was taken from him (every time they went to the rink) because Victor no longer trusted him one bit but he was fine as long as he could watch. At least he wasn't kicked out yet. 

"Decim, we're going to the skating rink, are you coming? Or are you really just going to sit there and unpack all day?" she called as they passed the room. She stopped walking for a second and counted. Victor and Yuuri watched as the door opened and Decim walked out. 

"Did she force him with some magic or something?" Yuuri muttered. 

"The magic of her skating," Victor continued walking. 

...

Yuuri and Decim stood side by side leaning up against the wall of the rink. Each one watching as Chiyuki gave Victor a lesson. He was still confused about why Chiyuki was here but the whole thing was starting to settle in. Yuuri was just happy for him. See? It wasn't all bad that he recorded that video and it went viral. 

"Are you and Chiyuki in a relationship?" Yuuri asked, innocently curious. Decim hadn't talked much. He didn't have any sort of expression. He didn't even make breathing noises. It was like he was a human doll or something. 

Decim moved his eyes to look at Yuuri but turned his attention back to Chiyuki. "I'm just her manager," he stated simply. 

"But you like her? In that way?" 

"I'm just her manager," he repeated. 

"You should tell her how you feel." 

"So should you." 

"What?" 

Decim pointed at Victor. 

"We're kind of dating..." Yuuri frowned. He didn't like Victor like that. He liked his dad though, which he could admit was a bit strange. Victor was nice looking but it wasn't the same. 

"Your relationship isn't real but the feelings are." 

"How do you know that?" Decim didn't reply. He'd talked enough for today. No matter what other questions Yuuri asked, he didn't reply. Such a tough nut to crack. 

"Ah," Chiyuki plopped down on the ice and sighed, staring at the ceiling. "That was so much work but you really pick up things quickly! Such a good apprentice!" 

"Apprentice?" Victor choked. 

"I think I've decided. I'm totally going to train you!" Chiyuki grinned. 

"What? Why!" 

"Because I can. What other reason do I need?" 


	5. Mission Report: Personal (Love?) Trainer 1.2

With each day that passed with Victor learning how to skate, Yuuri became more and more glued to the scene. He was just so...so...fantastic at it. It was like his body was molded just for skating. He only got things wrong once or twice before perfecting them. Chiyuki praised him highly. 

"So, what do you think of Yuuri?" Chiyuki asked.

Victor spat out his water. The two were on the opposite side of the rink, resting for a second. "We're dating? Sort of." 

"You're not dating, not yet anyway." 

"How do you-" 

"You can't even stand a few feet close to him. There is no way you're dating. Do you like him though?" 

"I swear he could make even a man pregnant," Victor confessed. 

"Well, he is totally infatuated with you." 

"How do you know that?" 

"A woman's intuition?" she grinned. "Be sure to give him the best show he has ever seen. That'll make sure he sticks around." 

"I don't know about that," Victor sighed. "I don't think he has any intentions of staying." 

"What makes you so sure?" 

"Well...his line of work?" 

"Ah, well you should try telling him how you feel before he leaves." 

Chiyuki went back out into the center of the rink and started skating. It was a slightly different version of the routine she'd already shown Victor. More jumps included in this one. She looked worn out, uneasy, but continued all the same, until her knee gave out and she collapsed on the ice. She groaned, grabbing her knee, and Decim ran out on the ice to help her. 

"Is she okay?" Victor skated over. Decim didn't reply. He just picked her up and started walking off the ice. 

"You can put me down! I'm fine!" Chiyuki frowned. Decim looked at her. "No, I know what the doctor said but I'm fine! I promise! I just landed wrong, that's all!" Decim refused to stop walking. She huffed, crossing her arms. 

"I guess that's the end of lessons for today?" Yuuri called to Victor. Victor shook his head and gestured for Yuuri to come on the ice. "I don't have skates though?" Victor pointed to one of the closets. Yuuri walked over to get some skates. He had no idea what he was doing but he guessed and got mighty close to correct while tying the laces. 

Yuuri stepped onto the ice and wobbled quite a bit. Victor skated over and knelt down. "You didn't tie them tight enough," he chuckled, fixing the laces. 

"I've never skated before, what do you expect?" Yuuri looked down at Victor's hair, tempted to press the center of his hair part. In the end, he did poke it. 

"What was that for?" Victor looked up, covering his head with his hand. 

"I just felt like it," Yuuri shrugged. "It was very poke-able." 

"What does that even mean?" 

"You've never seen something and thought 'oh, I have to poke that'?" 

"No?" 

"Well, if it ever happens to you, you'll understand," Yuuri laughed. 

Victor stood and grabbed Yuuri's hands, helping him out onto the ice. He was wobbly at first but it didn't take him too long to figure it out. Call it his agent training, but he was pretty good at adapting. "This is pretty fun," he admitted.

"I'm glad you enjoy it." 

"Kind of feels like a date," Yuuri smiled. 

"I highly doubt you'd ever really consider going on a date with me." 

"Why wouldn't I?" 

"Why would you?" 

Yuuri frowned. "You're quite cute, actually, I think I could go on a date with you. But, would you even let me?" 

"You'd probably force me, for this fake boyfriend business," Victor sighed. He just wanted to enjoy this moment but this moment, just like all the ones prior, was getting destroyed. There was no point in telling Yuuri how he felt. 

"You skate really beautifully, you know?" Yuuri changed the subject, trying to save the direction of the conversation. 

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome." 

An awkward silence fell between them that neither one wished to break. They just stared at each other, until Yuuri tripped over himself and fell onto Victor, who fell backward, and landed right on the ice. He winced. This was incredibly uncomfortable. 

The two of them stared at each other from the close distance. Yuuri's face was far too close to Victor's. He wanted to break free from this but, of course, Yuuri was the one on top so he couldn't very well stand up and skate away. 

Yuuri glanced down at Victor's lips, feeling very tempted to kiss him, but entirely unsure of how he would react. He decided just to go for it, so he did. He kissed Victor, who was too stunned to respond. Yes, Victor, a very attractive secret agent that kidnapped you a while back is now lying on top of you and kissing you. How does that make you feel? Are you 1) going to kiss back, 2) going to kiss back, but stronger, or 3) going to kiss back, but with pizazz. The audience is waiting. 

Victor lifted his arms, first instinct to push Yuuri away even if he wasn't strong enough to, but instead he brought his hands up to his hair, and pushed Yuuri's head further into him, allowing the kiss to get a bit more intimate. Yuuri was pleased, of course, but slightly confused. This wasn't how he expected Victor to respond. Maybe he wasn't fully there? Did he hit his head too hard?

" _Ahem_ ," Vincent cleared his throat, trying to get the boys' attention. When it didn't work, he tried again. The two stopped their face eating fest and looked over at him. "I thought you might like to know that the food is ready, but please, carry on," he turned and left. 

Victor pushed Yuuri off of him and stood up, nearly falling down, and skated away. His face incredibly red and his dignity gone forever. 

"That went rather well," Yuuri rested his face on the cold ice, trying to get some perspective on the matter.


	6. Mission Report: Fake Boyfriends 2

Yuuri turned the corner and bumped into Sebastian. Uhm, who was he again? An in-law or something? Yuuri couldn't remember. All he knew was that he'd seen him somewhere before. "Sorry about that." 

"No, it's me who should apologize." 

"But I ran into you." 

"Even so..." 

"Your name is Sebastian, right?" Yuuri asked. 

"Yes." 

"Do you know anything about Victor?" 

"Not much, I'm afraid, why?" 

"He isn't talking to me and I'm not sure what I should do to apologize. I was hoping you could give me some advice." 

"Relationship advice? From me?" Sebastian pointed to himself, a bit taken aback. 

"Yes, if you have any." 

"I really don't know a whole lot about him though but I think he likes ramen?" Sebastian tried his very best since Yuuri looked so perplexed. He sighed, unable to think of anything else. "I really must apologize. Victor and I barely speak to each other." 

"Thank you for your help anyway," Yuuri smiled. At least he had something to try now. Decim was still focused on forcing Chiyuki to relax and Victor was locked inside his room since the whole...well, you know. That kiss thing. Yuuri assumed Victor was mad at him for the kiss. Not once did the idea cross his mind that Victor might just be embarrassed. 

Sebastian wandered off so Yuuri was left trying to figure out where he would get the ramen from. He turned the corner again, only to run into Vincent Phantomhive. What is it with this place and bumping into people? Why is it always the corners too? Is he in some shoujo manga? Should he be running with toast in his mouth next? 

"Pardon me," Vincent smiled. "Is Victor hiding from you?" 

"No, ah, well, yes, actually," Yuuri didn't realize he could be so intimidated by Vincent until now. All of his thoughts were focused on The Undertaker before he never noticed Vincent's scary aura. Husbands can be menacing when they want to be, huh? Don't worry, Vincent, The Undertaker is safe...for now...while Yuuri is preoccupied with his fake boyfriend. 

"And your idea for winning his favor is ramen?" 

Yuuri flinched, unaware of Vincent's mind-reading ability. "Uhm, yes?" A silent moment passed between the two. Was he being judged? Of course he was being judged. Damn. Vincent really was scary. A force to be reckoned with. 

"Would you like some help?" 

"Help?"

"Ramen is a good place to start but you'll need a bit more than that, I'm afraid." 

"Like what?" 

"You two must've entered your relationship a short while ago if you know this little about Victor," Vincent stared, his everlasting smile fading ever so slightly. "Are you sure there isn't anything you're hiding from me? Mr. Yuuri Katsuki." 

"No? I mean...yes?" Yuuri wasn't sure what the correct answer to that question was. He could feel sweat building up on the back of his neck. The last time he'd been this terrified was probably when he was disarming a bomb on one of his missions. Had he been found out? Was this how he died? Forget about The Undertaker's defensive fatherly instinct...what would Vincent do if he found out about his lying fake boyfriend self...that was also attracted to his husband. The guy basically had all of the money in the world. Yuuri should've thought about this more carefully...and he was just realizing this now as Vincent's piercing gaze stared straight through him. 

"Yuuri, dear," Vincent placed his hand on Yuuri's face, "do be careful." He lightly tapped Yuuri's cheek and then slid his hand down to Yuuri's shirt, sliding a card into his breast pocket. Where did that card come from? Was it always in his hand? Wait a second...when did he ever tell his last name to Vincent? Didn't he just call him 'Yuuri Katsuki' a bit ago? Did he ever introduce himself like that? Holy shit. He really was found out, wasn't he? Nervous sweat continues...

Vincent waved and walked off leaving his menacing aura behind. Yuuri took the card out to look at it. A recipe? Yuuri wasn't a chef...this looked too hard. Maybe the thought would count? If he attempted? Yuuri sighed, making his way to the kitchen hoping all of the ingredients were there. Maybe his luck would increase and he would find it already made! But, that would be less heartwarming, wouldn't it?

Yuuri sighed again. "Victor, you're so hard to please..." 

He spent the next four hours trying to figure out how to cook this weird desert. Yuuri spent so much time on it that he forgot all about the ramen idea. He frowned, staring at his finished product. "This looks terrible," he sighed, sinking to the floor, leaning up against the cabinet. He was covered in flour, batter, and a few other random food items. Cooking wasn't a part of his agent training, that's for sure. 

"You look terrible," a mini version of Vincent wandered in. Wow. He was just going to meet the whole family today, huh? He looked at the 'finished product' and started cackling. "I sure hope that tastes better than it looks." 

"Me too," Yuuri sighed, bringing his legs close to his chest to rest his forehead on his knees. 

Ciel grabbed a fork and took a small bite before wincing. "Oh Lord, no thanks, you need some serious help." 

"What was your first clue? It's appearance or mine? Or, maybe the state of the kitchen?" 

"I suppose I don't have a choice," Ciel crossed his arms. "Sebastian mentioned you were having troubles and the only way to save this disaster of a desert is to help you make it again. You've committed a crime and must atone," Ciel grabbed an apron from behind the door and put it on. "On your feet, grasshopper, I shall teach you the ways of the world." 

"You know how to cook?" 

"Unfortunately." 

"Thank you," Yuuri grinned. 


	7. Mission Report: Fake Boyfriends 2.2

Victor was currently lying on his bed with his face directly hidden in his pillow. "This is a nightmare," he mumbled. "I injured my idol somehow and now I can't even look Yuuri in the eyes without turning into a tomato. I wanna die...then maybe I can be reborn as some sex god that isn't this self-conscious." 

"Victor?" a slight knock at his door. "Victor, you've been stuck in there for too long will you at least let me in so you can tell me what is wrong?" Ah, that was his dad. He didn't like worrying him but Victor really didn't want to admit his failures at the moment. Especially not to the person Yuuri was actually interested in...

"I don't wanna talk about it," Victor muttered. 

"You know I can pick this lock, right?" The Undertaker huffed and crossed his arms. "But, I won't, because I respect your privacy," he puffed out his cheeks, really wanting to pick the lock. Vincent told him not to bother Victor but he just wanted to make sure he was okay! Where was Yuuri anyway? Shouldn't he be here trying to console his boyfriend?! The Undertaker wasn't warming up to this 'boyfriend' of Victor's. 

"I really don't want to talk about it?" Victor tried again.

"Fine," The Undertaker sighed. "But I am here if you ever _do_ want to talk about it, not that you will any time soon but..."

"I get it, thanks."

"Right, then, well..."

Victor frowned and stood up. He didn't want to talk about it, of course, but he also didn't want his dad to be upset. So, he opened the door, pulled The Undertaker in, and locked it again. He returned to his bed and plopped his face into the pillow. Just like before. Resumed that faithful position. The Undertaker sat down on the bed and lightly tapped Victor's back. No response. He crawled on top of Victor and used him as the bed then, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" 

Victor mumbled a 'yes.'

"Then I'm just going to have to stay like this for moral support." 

Victor sighed. He turned his head so he could breathe better and then sighed again. "Can I ask you a question?" 

"I'm going to fight really hard to avoid making a dad-joke so please ask it before I stoop to a new low." 

"How did you know you were in love with Vincent?" 

The Undertaker coughed and rolled off of Victor, hiding his face in his hands and pressed up against the wall. "Wasn't expecting that one," he admitted, refusing to free himself from the safety of staring at the wall. 

"That's such a cute reaction for someone so-"

"Don't you dare call me old!" 

"I was going to say badass but..." 

"Oh, well, that's fine then." 

"I suppose you are-"

"Don't you dare!" 

Victor snickered. "I still want an answer to my question though." 

"That's not really a question I know how to answer," he removed his hands from his face and pressed his forehead against the wall. "It was a weird time to fall for someone so you could call it either my love to hate him or my hatred to love him." 

"I'm not sure that makes any sense," Victor frowned. 

"Exactly, it doesn't, because love doesn't really make sense." 

"So, I'll never know if I'm in love?" 

"Yuuri's really giving you a hard time, isn't he?" 

"Just a bit..." 

"You wouldn't be locked in your room if it was 'just a bit.'"

"Okay, that's true, but still..." 

"If he is bothering you that much why don't you just try and bother him more? Even out the cards." 

"Probably because I don't know how to flirt for the life of me," the father and son both sighed at the same time. 

"You have a point there." 

"You don't have to agree with me that quickly!" Victor puffed out his cheeks and sat up, plopping his pillow on The Undertaker's head. This led to the skilled agent rolling over and grabbing Victor. The two fell on the ground and started tickling each other. Neither one allowing the other to take the upper hand. A war of laughter. Who was going to survive and come out on top? 

"Dare I ask what is going on here?" Vincent stepped into the room and stared down at the dueling silver-haired duo. Each one jumped up and separated by about three feet. 

"Nothing," they muttered, looking in opposite directions. Like father like son. 

"Don't stop on my account," Vincent chuckled. "You certainly didn't the other day, Victor," he smirked, reminding Victor once again of that awkward moment. Victor's face flushed and he hid his face in his hands. Like father like son, once again. 

"What are you talking about?" The Undertaker frowned. "Are you up to your games again?" 

"Oh, I don't know, am I?" Vincent covered his grin with his hand. He may or may not be _observing_ a budding relationship and _taking notes_ on it (in the form of a story...aka he may or may not be writing fanfiction after spying on Yuuri and Victor through the various cameras hidden in the manor...for _protection_ ). 

"We're going to have a long chat," The Undertaker grabbed Vincent's hand and walked out of the room leaving Victor alone with his terrible memories. 

"Well, that was fun. Let's never do it again." 


	8. Mission Report: Fake Boyfriends 2.3

"Victor? Can you please open the door?" Yuuri begged. He'd only been standing out here for the past three hours. His desert for Victor was finally finished but getting him to open the door was another story entirely. 

"Why would I do that?" Victor mumbled, hiding under his blankets. 

"I can just unlock it myself, but that kind of defeats the purpose," Yuuri muttered, sighing. "I just want to apologize!" 

"I don't want you to apologize...I just want my feelings returned and to know you didn't just kiss me because I look a lot like my father," Victor groaned, sinking further into the depths of the blankets. He was so distraught and there was nothing to do about it. 

"Victor? Please open the door," Yuuri whined. He sat down and leaned his back up against the door, holding the plate with the desert delicately in his hands. He would just have to stay here for an eternity until Victor decided to open the door. 

An eternity was quite shorter than he thought. The door opened and Yuuri fell backward, the desert with him, falling right onto his face. "Shit!" he muttered, taking the plate off. "This was supposed to be my apology but I managed to ruin that too. I'm sorry..." he apologized. 

"You made me my favorite desert to try and make up for the fact that you kissed me?" 

"Well, I made it because I thought you were upset about the fact that I did kiss you. Maybe you were mad because you don't like me or something. I don't know. But, yes, this was supposed to be my apology." Yuuri sighed and closed his eyes. Game over. Whatever, it's not like they were really dating anyway. He could just leave to make this less awkward. 

Victor sat on the ground and ran his finger across Yuuri's forehead. He licked the cream, a bit surprised that it tasted okay. This dessert wasn't easy to make. "I suppose I can accept your apology." 

"Really?" Yuuri grinned. "That's great!" Yuuri stood up and closed the door behind him. He sat down again and hugged Victor. "I felt awful thinking you hated me!" 

"I have plenty of other reasons to hate you. For one, you kidnapped me..." Victor frowned. Did Yuuri forget about that so soon? Where was this guy's brain living? 

"I'm sorry about that." 

"Secondly, you're leading me on even though you claimed to have feelings for my father..." Victor muttered, grabbing Yuuri's arms and dragging him off. He didn't want to be hugged right now. He didn't want to be close to Yuuri at all. "I think it's best if you just leave. My father isn't going to look twice at you. He is suspicious of you and is head over heels for his husband." 

"You're...breaking up with me?" 

"We were never in a relationship!" Victor snapped. 

"Right..." Even if they weren't in a relationship, breaking up kind of hurt. He shouldn't feel this bad about it but he did. It was...really depressing. Yuuri's phone vibrated so he looked at it. 

"I guess we really are breaking up," Yuuri sighed. "I have to go on my next mission anyway. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Thanks for letting me stay as long as you have. I'm sorry for bothering you," Yuuri muttered, making his way to the window. 

"You could leave normally..." 

"I could but that's less fun." 

"But, you could get hurt." 

"Are you forgetting that I'm highly trained?" Yuuri chuckled. "I won't get hurt." 

"But..." 

"But? Don't look so disappointed. You wanted this goodbye right?" 

"That doesn't make it any less sad. I at least want us to leave on good terms." 

"That's kind of silly, don't you think? Since we started on such bad terms," Yuuri sat on the edge of the window. 

"At least let me wipe your face or something before you go," Victor grabbed a towel and walked over to Yuuri, trying to clean his face as best as he could. 

"Wait," Yuuri grabbed his hands and pulled them away from himself. "I suppose I could be the dessert?" he grinned, then laughed at Victor's shocked face. 

"I just told you not to lead me on!" 

"So, you aren't opposed?" 

"I- what?" 

"I'll give you a proper apology date for all of this when I get back. I promise," Yuuri kissed Victor's forehead and fell backward out the window. Victor stared, completely mystified, and had no idea how to take that. 

"I'm going to have to ask Vincent about weird flirting methods again, aren't I? My own father doesn't know how to help with these things..." Victor sighed, resting his forehead against the windowsill. "I hope his mission goes well and he doesn't get himself in any danger...what if he never comes back?" 

Victor shook his head. It didn't matter either way. They weren't dating and Yuuri had nothing to do with him! But, that didn't stop the aching feeling in his heart...


	9. Mission Report: Undercover 1

This was the mission: go in, snoop, report back. It was supposed to be simple. Nothing too big and nothing too small. Not even anything dangerous. What Yuuri wasn't expecting, however, was to see Vincent Phantomhive in this building. Why was he here? What was he doing? How much did he know? Yuuri avoided him at all costs. Even with his glasses, oversized coat, and his hair all messed up, there was still the possibility that Vincent would recognize him. That man knew everything about everyone. Or, so it seemed anyway. 

"You should be serving these, not standing there looking like an idiot," one of the waiters frowned at Yuuri and handed him a tray. "And take off that hideous jacket. Don't you know our dress code?" 

Yuuri apologized and took off his coat. He was sure to slouch, look at the ground, and avoid eye contact as much as possible as he handed out the items on the tray. He tried his best to avoid Vincent's side of the room. Who knows if that worked. 

"You're avoiding me," Vincent sat down at the bar, leaning up against it. "But I already know you're here. It's why I came to this event to begin with." He glanced towards Yuuri, sipping his drink. He looked like he was born to be here. Yuuri wouldn't be surprised if he was. 

"Sir?" 

Vincent chuckled. "I'm not going to break your cover but I can give you the information you need without you being here. I just have a simple favor to ask you." Yuuri was interested in knowing what the almighty Vincent Phantomhive wanted from him.

"I request that you refrain from breaking my step-son's heart. Please return to my manor and makeup with him." 

"We aren't-" 

"Not yet, you aren't, but the relationship could take place provided one of you actually takes that first step." 

"What do you-"

"Will you stop trying to interrupt me? I asked you for a simple request," Vincent's eyes, although not particularly glaring, stared straight through Yuuri's existence. He shut his mouth. "There is also the matter of that Chiyuki person. Victor has no interest in professionally skating so having her choose him to be an apprentice is rather tiresome."

Yuuri had no idea where Vincent was going with this. 

"Luckily for her, we have enough technology to fix her knee," Vincent smiled, standing up. "I hope to see you at the manor again soon," he waved and walked off. 

Well, that, to say the least, didn't go as expected. 


	10. Final Report: Real Boyfriends

Yuuri didn't understand at all what Vincent's motives were but he did know one thing: he liked Victor. He actually did like Victor. Like, for realsies. And he wanted to be in a real relationship with him. 

He returned to the manor and snuck into Victor's room. He was sleeping, so he poked his cheek. "Mmm, Yuuri-" 

"Victor," he whispered by his ear, blowing air onto his neck. 

"Yuuri..." Victor muttered, grinning into his pillow. 

"Are you going to wake up?" Yuuri asked. 

"Huh?" Victor opened his eyes and rolled off of his bed. "Yuuri?!" 

"I'm back," Yuuri waved. "But I have a request." 

"What?" Victor stood up to sit down on his bed. 

"Will you properly date me?" Yuuri grinned, forming a heart with his hands. "We don't have to be in a fake relationship, let's just be in a real one." 

"But what about your work?" 

"Your father is actually quite helpful in that regard, you know?" Yuuri snickered. 

"Oh...right," Victor nodded. 

"So, will you?" Yuuri rested his hands on Victor's legs, staring at him intently. 

"I don't know," Victor replied, glancing around the room, quite flustered. "Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with me? We still don't know a whole lot about each other." 

"We have plenty of time to learn." 

"Yes, but...are you sure?" 

"Victor," Yuuri pressed his finger to Victor's chest. "What do _you_ want?" 

"I," Victor still avoided looking directly at Yuuri. He wasn't sure what he wanted. He did like Yuuri but did he like him enough to be in a real relationship with him? And what if they only hurt each other again? This was really complicated.

"I think I would like to give it a try..." he muttered. 

"Really?" Yuuri beamed. 

"Yeah..." Victor nodded. 

"Great," Yuuri leaned forward and kissed Victor. He was stunned, at first, but ultimately returned the favor. He wrapped his arms around Yuuri and Yuuri did the same to him. They ended up on the bed, entangled with one another, kissing until the door was kicked open. 

"I have good news!" Vincent spoke. "The operation was a success." Chiyuki walked in, good as new, but the two stared at the bed with the entangled males. 

"Was this a bad time?" Chiyuki laughed. 

"Oh my," Vincent wasn't actually surprised. He was quite happy that his ship became canon. 

"Get out!" Victor threw his pillow at Vincent's face, only for him to dodge. Chiyuki didn't have to be told twice and left promptly. Vincent continued dodging pillows but ultimately left before Victor was completely out of ammo. 

"He's so embarrassing." 

"I think he is charming." 

"Of course you would," Victor huffed. 

"But I think you're more charming," Yuuri insisted, hugging Victor from behind. "I like you." 

Victor's face flushed. "I like you too." 


End file.
